You sign the roster in the morning. You sign it again after lunch. At the end of the day, they hand you a certificate – the main purpose of which must be to let your employer know you didn’t sneak off and have a good time, instead of attending the third and final session on “Dealing with the Suicidal Crisis”. I hereby certify none of the participants expressed suicidal ideation, even during the Power Point presentation. Furthermore, I completed a rather nice mosaic-like border on one page of my professional copybook, as illustrated. (My immediate neighbor showed a real talent at sketching the other participants – police officers, social workers, nurses, and such.)  I also added  extra acronyms to a growing list, especially since administrations like to revitalize themselves through a name change.

Did I learn anything valuable, the evaluation sheet asked at the end of the session. Not much, I didn’t answer. In real terms, I learned I hope never to find myself subjected to psychiatric treatment under the session leader’s care. I established useful contacts with one (1) police officer and one  (1) social worker. Plus, I learned that a certain number of social workers are into blaming the migrants for “stealing” space that should go to French kids from dysfunctional families. When you say: surely, this isn’t the kids’ fault, whether French or not, they agree, sort of.  But you know they think so, nonetheless. These are people dealing with the toughest of the tough cases. You understand their frustration, and you know they’re hitting the wrong targets.

Which sums up what I learned at today’s third and final session on “Dealing with the Suicidal Crisis.”

*Meanwhile John Doe was pronounced DOA.